Monday, January 24, 2005

Sisss Boom Bah

...the sound you hear when a sheep explodes.

Good Bye Karnac the Magnificent

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Home

I want to wrap myself up in our quilt.
I want to come home.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

A Prayer for my Dearest of Friends

Peace and blessings be upon you, my dearest friend. My prayers are
focused on keeping you safe in our Lord's Most Compassionate, Most
Merciful arms, and His Love will nourish his beautiful creation that is
you.

I will help buckle your armor (especially those tough-to-reach-bra--like
buckles in the back) and sharpen your sword (and help you pick out a
sheath for your sword that will match your shoes). I will share my
bi-focals so you can focus on God's work. And I will gladly flip off
the enemy with both hands.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

100 (plus 1) Things About Me

  1. My real name is not Vicky.
  2. My best friend in high school gave me the name Victoria Hawthorne so I'd have a cool pen name when I became a famous romance author.
  3. I am never bored.
  4. I remember lying in the front yard with my friends, staring up at the moon (I remember it as a full moon, but history will tell you that it was not full that night) as Neil Armstrong took that one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind - and really believing that we could all see him on the surface.
  5. My parents stayed married until my mother died (24 years, not too shabby).
  6. My mom was pregnant with me before she and Dad got married.
  7. I have one sister. I love her very much.
  8. I have three kids - two girls, one boy.
  9. I'm on my 2nd and last marriage.
  10. I work in a field that doesn't even scratch the surface of my talents or interests.
  11. I'm frustrated (see #10).
  12. I'm a moderate, in most things.
  13. I don't drink, anymore.
  14. I don't do drugs, anymore.
  15. I do smoke, still.
  16. I seem to like coffee less and less.
  17. Earl Grey tea is much more satisfying - I wonder why.
  18. I'm pleased that my daughters are living their life on their own terms (...or at least I hope they're living there life on there own terms. I'm pretty sure they're living their life on their own terms.)
  19. I like parenthetical statements.
  20. I like exclamation points.
  21. I love dachshunds.
  22. I hate it when people call dachshunds "wiener dogs".
  23. Sometimes I still worry about what other people think, but I'm working on that.
  24. I stole candy from a convenience store when I was in the 6th grade and I got caught.
  25. I hated all of Jr. High/Middle School and most of high school.
  26. Judy Garland was my great-aunt.
  27. I had a very hard time coming to terms with the fact that JG was my great-aunt and that Liza, Lorna and Joey are my 2nd cousins. We don't know each other very well at all and it seems all a bit too weird for me, but at age 43 I'm finally getting over the weirdness.
  28. I have a dog. He's a mix, mostly chow - but doesn't look like he's been chasing parked cars, like most chows look (to me, at least). He's old and it makes me sad to think that the day will come when he won't be alive anymore.
  29. My favorite color is red.
  30. My favorite food is steak. Rare to mid-rare. Anything more cooked is jerky as far as I'm concerned.
  31. My favorite cuisine is Italian, Northern region.
  32. I'm not much of a pack-rat.
  33. I'm a lousy housekeeper.
  34. I'm a pretty damned decent cook (but my husband is better).
  35. Best store-bought Halloween costume was "Casper the Friendly Ghost" in the 3rd grade, but I had the mumps and couldn't go trick-or-treating. Mom still let me wear the costume though.
  36. Best home-made Halloween costume was Harpo Marks. It was the only time I was able to utilize a truly awful perm.
  37. I was a redhead when I was a baby.
  38. I'm still a natural blond.
  39. I haven't found any grey hair yet. (no complaints there!)
  40. I used to love studying religions, but now I'm pretty luke-warm about it - its all the same message; take care of each other, be grateful for the life/stuff you do have, etc..and we still treat each other like shit. I sense a power greater than us, but I can't see how man's attempts to organize has done us any good. I take "The Kingdom of God is within us" literally. So shut the fuck up and listen to what God is trying to tell you.
  41. I don't care for rude people.
  42. I hate to be interrupted (unless someone is on fire and I'm the one holding a garden hose).
  43. I love being a mom. I wish I could have been a better mom to my daughters. We end up learning as we go and we don't take the time to really appreciate our kids when we're in the trenches of raising them. But I loved hugging and kissing on my kids. I said and continue to say "I love you" to them as much as they'll let me.
  44. I'm looking forward to being a grandmother.
  45. I don't have many close friends.
  46. I don't go out of my way to hang out with acquaintances.
  47. Power, fame, fortune does not intimidate me.
  48. I can't stand people that get annoyed because I'm not intimidated by their power, fame, fortune, etc. I had my site manager use the "..well I'm the boss." line and I had to fight hard NOT to say "No Shit?" If you have to tell me (when I already know) then you're not doing a very good job.
  49. I really love my husband.
  50. I'm amazed my husband puts up with my crap.
  51. I'm amazed ANYONE puts up with my crap.
  52. I think the internet is the coolest thing. In less than 30 minutes you can update your financial aid records, file your taxes and enroll in a semester's worth of classes without leaving your chair.
  53. I'm overweight. I'm sitting here, doing all the stuff from #52 and if it weren't for getting up to go to the bathroom I would get no exercise at all! Maybe the internet has its drawbacks. However, my fat ass doesn't out-weigh (ooh, an unintentional punny moment) the benefits of the net.
  54. I love the word "hence."
  55. The phrase "24/7" annoys me.
  56. I wish I could have known my mother better.
  57. I wish my mother was still alive (everyday I wish that wish).
  58. I'm afraid to die.
  59. I'm learning how to be less co-dependent.
  60. I hate the term co-dependent, but I haven't found a better term for the very real and twisted behavior that is co-dependency.
  61. I'm new to blogging.
  62. My favorite swear word is Fuck. Depending on the inflection, you can communicate anything with that word. Same can be said for Shit - but it doesn't have the same naughty-quotient as Fuck does.
  63. I like the fact that very few people really know me.
  64. My husband knows me, and he loves me anyway. He's a saint, or an idiot.
  65. I have a hard time with follow-through.
  66. Somehow I've lead my sister to believe that I don't use the word Fuck - that I don't say it out loud. To the best of my knowledge I have not used that word in the presence of a nun, priest, imam, rabbi, or shaman - but the rest of the world is fair game.
  67. I think its interesting that people write 100 Things About Me and other people read them. I started this list after reading others'.
  68. I wonder if anyone reads my blog.
  69. I've had the chickenpox 3 times. I can't build immunity. Just say "chickenpox" and you can trigger a lovely anxiety attack.
  70. My favorite joke is the "Chunks" joke. Send me a comment with your email addy if you want to know it too. Warning - its NC 17 and extremely gross.
  71. I don't lie to my son about Santa Clause. Seriously, why is it okay in this society to lie to our children and then we punish them for lying to us? "Its the magic of Christmas" someone told me once...What? How can you justify that? Do you remember when you finally found out the truth? That it was your parents all along, and they'd been lying to you for years? I have to admit, I did it to my daughters and I feel like shit for it. Oh! And when you're a kid and you figure it out - confronting your parents with the truth, what do they do? They demand that you don't "ruin it" (i.e. rat them out to your siblings) for your little brothers or sisters. Hypocritical SHEEP!
  72. Its taking me two days to come up with 100 things about me.
  73. There's a girl (now a woman) that I knew when I went to Gibson Jr. High in Las Vegas, NV., in the mid-70's. Her name was Karen Rivera and I'd like to have a few words with her.
  74. I love to sing.
  75. I would love to sing and record with my daughters. (my son is too young to sing in tune just yet, but I have no doubt that will come in time)
  76. I have relative pitch.
  77. I played flute from 3rd grade until after high school.
  78. I wrote a silly lulabye for my son to the melody of National Public Radio's "All Things Considered" theme song.
  79. I've always wanted to live in California.
  80. I wish I could afford to live in California.
  81. Most of the stuff that I think in my head stays there.
  82. If I had a week to live I'd spend it telling the people I love just how much I do love them.
  83. If I had 2 weeks to live I'd spend a week telling all the people I don't love just what I do think of them and one week telling the people I love just how much I do love them.
  84. I like grocery shopping.
  85. I don't like spending a lot of time clothes shopping. It makes me very, very tired.
  86. All malls look alike to me.
  87. I know how to make soap from scratch.
  88. Learning how to not try to solve everyone elses problems is the hardest thing I've done.
  89. Learning that I'm in control of nobody but my self (and that's minimal at best) has been a difficult lesson, but learning to let go of "their melodrama" has been very freeing.
  90. I love to read adventure/mystery/thrillers (Robert Ludlum for example).
  91. I don't care for romance novels.
  92. I hate horror movies.
  93. I love romantic comedy movies.
  94. My favorite perfume is Chanel #5.
  95. I can stretch a dollar pretty damned far.
  96. I don't have much patience with winers.
  97. I hate doing laundry.
  98. I tend to procrastinate.
  99. I make an effort to stop and "smell the roses" everyday. It may just be smelling the top of my son's head after his bath, but you get what I'm saying here - I hope.
  100. I wanted to be a dancer when I was in the 6th grade.
  101. I think this was an interesting exercise.

I Wonder if You Ever Knew...

...that each night I would sit on the edge of your bed and watch you sleep. Hear your gentle breathing, filling my soul with so much joy and peace. Watching your fleeting expressions as you sailed through your dreams. My heart so full of emotion that my eyes could not hold back tears that were never sad; overwhelmed with love and gratitude for being chosen to care for the beauty that is you. You are why I know that God is real.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Draw Outside the Lines - From Now On!

I spent this afternoon visiting a preschool/daycare center. I've been blessed with a wonderful licensed home-daycare in my neighborhood for several years. But she has to close. I was sad. But became so much sadder when I started the search for a new place for my son.

The place was clean, safe, stocked with plenty of interesting toys and activities. I listened to the teacher, learned about her qualifications and was feeling comfortable with this possible option. Mrs. S, the preschool teacher was telling me about the "art center" and showing me these almost perfect crayon masterpieces displayed on the wall. They were symmetrical. And cold. Mrs. S proudly told me about how the kids use stencils, taped down on the paper/table so they can color in the "...negative space, so they can stay inside the likes."

What? WHAT!!!??? They're 4 years old!!!! Why do they have to stay in the lines? Its ART!!! A personal interpretation of the world around us. What is the matter with going outside the lines? No, really - why the need to smother our children's creative thinking at 4 years old?!!!!

Wow! It all starts in preschool art class. And its so insidious, don't you think? We're trained to do what we're told, don't talk back, don't question authority, don't think outside the box....don't color outside lines, don't think. don't consider that there might be more than one way to do things. I've got news for the world! There's always more than one way to do things, to live (ssshhhh, don't tell anyone).


Sunday, January 09, 2005

Hey, I've Got a Super Hero in the Family!!!

This past Christmas my very best friend gave me lovely bath salts and bath oil beads that came in cute test tube like bottles. She must think I have time to take a leisurely bath. How sweet.

My 4 yr old son came into my office while I was editing video and asked if he could use them for a minute. "For a minute, what are you planning to do with them?" I asked.

"I have to practice my moves..." he held them in his hands and then took a decidedly Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan stance. Hmmm, interesting - purple lavender scented nun-chucks. "But don't worry Mom! I won't use them to fight crime!"

Its a bird, its a plane,....its Lavender Boy - fighting for truth, justice and softly scented skin! Do you think the Justice League is ready for Lavender Boy?

You Know its Time to Go On a Diet when....

...You're sitting on the couch with your husband being the couch potatoes you both are, and your son snuggles in between you - looks both of you up and down. There's a question in his eyes - could it be the dreaded "where do babies come from?" No such luck for us; too easy.

My beautiful son, with his beautiful 4 yr old mind asks, "Mom, when I grow up will I get to have boobs like you..and Dad?"

Its time to dig out the Weight Watchers New Cookbook. Happy New Year to me! (us - I'm not going down alone)