Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Does Your Spiritual Relationship...

...with God hinge on "Christmas", "X-Mas", "Holidays"?

I've had about enough of the bitch and moan over what to call the last month of the year. Who the heck cares if you call it Christmas or Holidays? Apparently, a bunch of people find this important. But I have to ask, does someone wishing you a "Happy Holiday" make you feel less of a Christian? Is the attempt to not offend become such a hindrence to your spirit that your relationship with God is deminished?

We live in a diverse society folks! Just by looking at me, you can't tell if I'm Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Pagan, Agnostic or Athiest. And I'd bet you don't "look like a..." either!

And for those who read this regularly and may be asking "Whoa! Where did this come from? She's usually a pretty light read!" I'll tell you! I watched a perfectly polite person wishing someone a "Happy Holiday" get their ass chewed out because they did not wish them a "Merry Christmas"! And it completely bummed out the perfectly polite person. THAT SUCKS!

So, before I get back to the lighter side of writing...Happy Frickin' Holidays!

Monday, November 28, 2005

What NOT to do...

...over the long holiday weekend.

I'm in the final (God willing) stretch of the "re-tile the bathroom" project this weekend. Please make note...Never say "We really need to re-tile the front bathroom" while still on a post-Thanksgiving turkey stuper!

"It will be easy", "We have everything we need in the garage"...The next time you hear yourself, or a loved one, say anything close to the previously mentioned statements...have another turkey sandwich and take another long nap; until the feeling passes.

The phrase that sums it all up...My son calling from the livingroom "MOOOOMMMMM!!! DAD NEEDS YOU TO BRING HIM THE TILE SMASHER!"

Friday, November 25, 2005

No more...


Or turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes....

I'm just now coming out of the turkey coma, so I missed all the "Black Friday" shopping insanity. I went to Walgreens Pharmacy, but that place doesn't get wild with shoppers until the "Oh Crap! I haven't done ANY Christmas shopping, it's 11:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve and the only thing open is the gas station run by a very nice Pakistani couple and the Walgreens down the street" mad shopping rush.

I plan to watch the spectacle on December 24th! I'll take a few sandwiches, my "soccer mom" folding chair, a big cup of eggnog ... just make an evening of it. Would you like to join me?

Monday, November 14, 2005

I've Gone and Done it Now...

Okay, I've tinkered. I've tweaked. I've freaked out over the sound of my voice and that creepy feeling when you sit in a room and talk to yourself. And now, its out there...the podcast...Please check this out and give me gently-honest feedback.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Going the Extra Mile...

...when you're married to a man that did not grow up in the 70's, or the United States.

Me: "I'm sorry, what did you say our son was doing?"

Husband: "The Honky Tonk."

Me: "Don't you mean The Hokey Pokey?"

Husband: "What's the difference between a Honky Tonk and The Hokey Pokey?"

Me: "A Honky Tonk is a bar. The Hokey Pokey is a dance. You could do the Hokey Pokey in a Honky Tonk."

And then my dad expanded my husband's knowledge with:

Dad: "And then there's a Firn Bar." Okay, I have to admit - before my time.

Me: "What's a Firn Bar?"

Dad: "It's a bar with Cole Porter playing in the background and there's lots of firns all around, for decoration."

Husband: "What's a Firn?"

Dad: "A Firn is a tree-shaped plant with long leaves that kind of look like Farah Fawcett's hair."

Me: "Honey, do you know who Farah Fawcett is?"

Husband: "No."

Dad: "Okay, how about Jessica Simpson?"

Husband: "The cartoon?"

Me: "No, that's Lisa Simpson."

Sunday, November 06, 2005

I'm One of THOSE Parents...

...that didn't lie to my son about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. But he's got to have a process for everything. He tells me in the car tonight that he knows how the kids get the toys on Christmas morning. "They think its Santa Clause, but its really their parents...and they have to go to a store in the middle of the night that's Walmart...and they get stuff and bring it home and give them to the kids. And if the parents remember that the kids were good then they get toys. And if the parents remember all the bad stuff they did, then they get them cloths."

I asked him if he was going to tell kids that did believe in Santa Clause...he told me "No, because its none of my business what they believe." Son, you rock!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Ode to My 1 (and only)...

Quietly, patiently you wait. If my muse is on extended holiday you don't complain. Eventually the muse returns (I've named her Mildred) from Boca Rotan, Florida. I write a little more. And even when its crap that hits the webpage you are still there. Quiet. Patient.

I don't need to know who you are. Its just so nice to know that you're there. You, my one and only subscriber to this blog.