Thursday, March 30, 2006

He's Waited a Lifetime for this Moment...

When my son was two years old he fell in love with a movie called "The Sandlot". It's one of those almost-coming-of-age movies that you can watch with your kids (although, to be fair there is an "Oh SHIT", but I think it was the right thing for that character to say at that particular moment in the story). All of my kids love it. And in my boy's mind, he is Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez.

So, the other night is the first game in the round-robin tournament of the PCO League, T-Ball division. It's cold, it's windy and these 11 kids are so excited. I look like a grey Umpa-lumpa in my "Mom" t-shirt, pulled over my grey sweatshirt. But I'm a warm Umpa-lumpa.

The umpire calls "Play ball!" and my son takes a swing and a miss. Strike one. He tightens his grip, chokes up on the bat and takes another swing. It connects. It's a line drive to Third base. The ball passes between the Third baseman's legs and heads to the back fence. "The Jet" steps firmly onto First base and makes the left turn to Second. Center field over-throws past Third base. "The Jet" rounds Second and heads straight to Third. The pitcher over-throws to Third and "The Jet" hits the bag and heads straight for Home. The umpire moves the tee off of Home plate and "The Jet" slides into Home. The look on my son's face spoke volumes as his behind slid across Home plate - grinding Oklahoma-red dirt into the white uniform. "I've been waiting my whole life to do this!"

Monday, March 13, 2006

Why it's So Cool to be a 5 (almost 6) Year Old Boy...

...because you take great joy in slurping down a huge gulp of soda pop...you wait for it...wait..for..it...BELTCH!!

Tonight he received a bonus:

From one end of the house, "MOM!!! I BURPED AND A FART CAME WITH IT!!!"

Friday, March 10, 2006

WARNING...Rant Ahead...

Dear Dial Soap People,

Please stop running that ad with the lady that holds the door open with her foot, so her kids don't get germs on them. The encouragement of this kind of behavior is disgusting!

I mean really, where have her shoes been all day? Do you know? Take a look at the bottom of your shoes! How socially irresponsible are you people, anyway? Gum, dead bugs and random dog turds (horse and cow turds if you're a cowboy/cowgirl - goat turds if you're my boss) - that's what you'll find at the bottom of your shoes. And yet you encourage your customers to behave so morally reprehensible as to spread E.Coli, BugColi* and GumColi* to the rest of us just so you can sell us your overpriced - watered down soap (although the foamy thingy is cool)!

And about the whole idea of protecting our kids from all of those germs. Kids are suppose to have regular germs all over them. That's what makes them snot-nosed little brats!

Signed,
The mother of a currently snot-nosed guy; probably due to the germs from the dog turds he picked up off of the bathroom door handle at Walmart.

*Though some words could be considered non-words, no real harm was done to the English language during the making of this rant.

Wichita...Wow...

(The title to today's entry is one of those "inside things"; so inside, in fact, that were I to go through the complete history of why this is meaningful for my father, my uncle, and the guy that said this (though I seriously doubt he'd get it) your final reaction to that extreme effort would be: "Uh, yeah - I guess you had to be there." And, it really has nothing to do with this entry...sort of.)

Next week I get to spread my business traveling wings and drive to Wichita, Kansas. This will be the first time I stay at a Hyatt. I've enjoyed the many flavors of Marriott, Hilton, and Sheraton Hotel properties (some in Wichita). Now it's Mr. Hyatt's turn. I wonder if there is a Mr. Hyatt. I've met Mr. Marriott, Jr. Nice guy. Despite Paris' antics, the Hilton folks have been consistently good - from my perspective.

I'm looking forward to exploring Old Towne. I hear its similar to Bricktown in OKC. There's more places I'd like to see but I have one night in Wichita...Wow - and then its back to OKC.

Gary, I dedicate this business trip to you.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Plastic Bags are Evil...

I don't know if plastic grocery bags are common everywhere else, but here - they are EVERYWHERE! And they all want to get tangled up underneath my car. I dodged three or four of them today. They dance gracefully, slow-motion like, across the highway as we bolt from concentrated job centers. Once they spot MY vehicle they go on their suicide mission, straight for the bottom of my car!

Over the last year I have had to pull off of the highway, multiple times, to dislodge the molten hot mass of plastic from my front axle and engine block. I see them floating; being gently tossed around in the air - up, down-up, and then BAM! they make the mad dash. They get sucked in at the front and never make it out the back. Shit! Put my right turn signal on. Luckily, everyone around me has seen the "Thank You for Shopping with Us" plastic suicide attack - and they make room for me to change lanes to get off the highway.

Today I was lucky. The guy in the new Lexus SUV...not so much. From the look on his driving companion's face - it wasn't his first plastic grocery sack suicide mission rodeo. Give him room folks, give him room...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Guy Friendships...

I love that my son has a good handful of boys in the neighborhood, close to his age and that he will most likely grow up with them. My daughters had the same thing, for the most part, too.

But the girls' circle of friends changed considerably as they got older. I'm told by men that I know that these boys' friendships have a good chance of lasting a lifetime. That is such a good thing...except...

...there's that one kid - the one that you want to ask, "Hey kid, would you like a little cheese with that whine?", and complains when he doesn't get his way (at a particular dB that hurts my ears) and then says he's going home (but rarely does).

After he actually did live up to his promise to "...take my toys and go home!" I had to ask, "If he complains all the time why do you guys play with him? The other three said, "I don't know, we just do."

This Just Tickles Me...

...that all of the gentle souls that read this blog from time to time - are now subscribed! I wish you could have heard the squeal and giggles.

And this is going to sound dorky as hell, but I have to admit that throughout the day, when I would remember that there are 4 people subscribed to this blog - well...it just made me smile.

And...if the trend continues, 3 out of the 4 will unsubscribe when they realize what they've done. 'till then - I'll just sit here and giggle to myself.